The Most Frustrating Part

I love my summer job running a recreation program for kids with special needs. I love it! It is exhausting... it is the kind of job that takes over your whole life. If you're a staff member you can go to work and then leave at 3:00 and go home, but if you are one of the program leaders, your life consists pretty much of working, thinking about work, planning for work, shopping for supplies for work, or sleeping. But it really is fun... the kids are awesome, and I love the challenge of finding new and fun things for them to do.

If someone asked me what is my least favorite part of my job, I would probably have to say it is not the children at all, but the other adults. Not all of them. Some of the staff members I supervise are wonderful. Surprisingly, some of our best staff members are the ones who are still in high school themselves! They grew up doing volunteer work with kids with special needs, either alongside their parents or as part of school. They just have great levels of patience and love for the kids. You'd be amazed to see it.

Then there are the handful of staff members who think they are God's Gift to Special Recreation. They are the ones who are constantly criticizing us as program leaders, pointing out the things that we should, in their opinion, be doing differently. They are the ones who will scowl or glare at you because they don't like the activity you're leading, who have to question everything, and who seem to love one-upping each other at all times. You could say, "Last night a helicopter crashed through the roof of my house," and they'd say, "Well, I know all about that, because I was a helicopter pilot for ten years, so I crashed through roofs all the time, and I know that blah blah blah..."

There are the staff members who come ask you, "Would you like us to stack those chairs up, or leave them there?" with a smile on their face... but then there are the handful that will say, "Don't you think these chairs should be stacked up?" or "Shouldn't you have done that by now?" with an eye roll.

Usually these same staff members are the ones who are the roughest on the kids. With the special recreation program, the other leaders and I have stressed, from the beginning, that the kids are here for recreation and socialization. They are not here for school, or therapy. They get plenty of that. They are here to have a wonderful summer, with plenty of fresh air and exercise and new experiences and new buddies. We still want to have expectations for the kids, but we prefer to use natural consequences, or Love and Logic, rather than punishments and scolding.

Because some of the children would rather spend their entire days sitting in one spot playing with a water bottle, many of the staff members make a deal with the kids that they have to try every activity for five minutes, and if they don't like it they can choose something else. They'll even give the kid a sticker for each activity they try. It works like a charm... kids often end up enjoying themselves and staying for the entire activity, so they expand their horizons and get the most out of their rec program. But we always say, if the kids absolutely refuse to do an activity, don't force them. There is no point in restraining a child while hand-over-handing an art project with him. The child gets nothing out of it.

We ask the staff to avoid control battles. I once explained that if you find yourself saying, "I have to make him do this, at least for a second, because otherwise he wins," then you are in a control battle.

Here's an example for you to ponder. Let's say little Johnny is supposed to be getting ready to go swimming, but instead he's flopped down in the middle of the hallway and refusing to move.

A natural consequence would be something like, "If we go get ready quick, we'll have lots of time to swim. If we stay here, we'll run out of time!"

Or you could say, "Oh, you're choosing to spend your swimming time sitting in the hallway. That sounds kind of boring, but okay..." and then pretend to be very busy looking at a picture on the wall, until Johnny suddenly gets up and marches to the bathroom to change into his bathing suit.

Or maybe Johnny doesn't even like swimming, and you could say, "Johnny, do you want swimming, or do you want arts and crafts?" Because do we really need to force someone to go swimming? This is their recreation program, and part of recreation is getting to choose what you do.

Now here is how a few particular staff members handle it: "Johnny, get up, right now. I'm going to count to three, and if you don't get up, you lose snack time. One... two... three. Okay, no snack. Do you hear me, Johnny? I mean it! Get up! If you don't get up, I am going to call your mom and tell her you can't go on the field trip tomorrow. Okay, no field trip..." All of this said in a very angry, irritated voice. Of course, Johnny doesn't get up. And by the time five minutes has passed, Johnny has lost snack, the field trip, recess for the next three days, and every activity he enjoys other than lunch.

Anyways... I love my summer job so much, and I love most of the people I work with so much, that I often wish I could do this year round! But in order to do it full time, I'd have to get a law passed saying kids no longer have to go to school and can just do recreation day in and day out. I like it in some ways even more than teaching, because we get to do all fun things without any assessments or meetings or paperwork. And I think I am a pretty good supervisor to the staff members I supervise. I listen to them and am accommodating whenever they have special circumstances, like if they want to leave early to go to a job interview for a different job or if they want a break from working with the kid they've been assigned to. In return, they are hard workers, have great attitudes, and rarely miss work unexpectedly. At least, 98% of them are. But it is that irritable, eye-rolling, sighing, complaining 2% that make everyone's day a little more difficult than it needs to be.

I guess it is like that at any job, though, huh.